Even Hollywood star Nicholas Cage will find it tough to make one of Theo Castelein’s amply-portioned meals disappear in 60 seconds.
The Sardinia Bay Golf Club caterer should know as their paths have crossed during what has been a colourful life.
“I had one job in the Northern Cape where I catered for him and his crew,” Theo says in a way that suggests it is nothing out of the ordinary.
“He is a brilliant guy. After every meal he would come to me and say, ‘Theo, thank you very much’.”
It’s encounters such as these that ensure no one can ever accuse him of failing to live his 70 years to the fullest.
Theo celebrated his fifth year at the club in January and, unsurprisingly, has garnered some fame of his own due to his delicious fare and charisma.
His 10-year-old son, Jayden, has also become a familiar face around the estate as his father’s “deliveryman”.
Theo is a qualified architect but has never practised as one.
On top of this, the Framesby High School alumnus has lived in exotic places like Israel, Italy, Holland, London and southern Portugal’s Algarve region.
That’s aside from Cape Town, Johannesburg, Pietermaritzburg and Gqeberha in sunny South Africa.
His “uncomplicated” menu for the breakfast crowd – usually those with early tee-offs and residents taking it easy – comprises bacon-and-egg plates, brekkie rolls, toasted sandwiches and burgers.
He also prepares made-to-order meals for residents once a week.
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“I send out a WhatsApp on a Monday and meals need to be booked by 9pm. I prep on a Tuesday and deliver the same day,” he explains.
Officially, there is no delivery fee but appreciative residents usually spoil Jayden with a tip when he does drop-offs on foot.
“He makes all his money from tips,” Theo says with a chuckle.
On occasions when orders are too numerous for the Mount Pleasant Primary School learner to manage by himself, he drives him to the various homes to make the eagerly-anticipated deliveries.
“Sometimes he’s not even there and people will still give me something to pass on to him. He has a really outgoing, friendly personality so they have really adopted him.”
Theo often caters for private dos and events at the recreation centre, with items like oxtail and butter-chicken curry always a hit.
However, when meat prices are at a premium, cooking red-meat dishes goes against his mantra of keeping costs reasonable.
Theo always had a passion for cooking but only decided to make it his life’s work around the turn of the millennium after returning to SA.
He has catered at many well-known establishments around Gqeberha, including Mandela University, Port Elizabeth Golf Club and Old Grey Club.
Like many in his industry, the pandemic took a toll on his business. He had to start from scratch and, thankfully, found a home at Sards and a few schools.
You will find him at the club on weekdays from 9am to 11am before he does his schools run.
On Friday evenings he caters for the club’s Sundowners events and on weekends he is in the kitchen from 9am to 2pm.
Theo just loves the club with its peaceful surrounds. It is also the ideal place for his sports-mad son to grow up, particularly since residents and golfers have taken such a shine to him.
Sards, it’s fair to say, has become his national treasure.